hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
