the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
