Apparently you make a good broom.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
