I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
