dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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