He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
