Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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