I'm gonna have a badass scar
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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