marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize