Me too!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
