so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
