where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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