so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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