I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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