I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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