ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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