it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
