wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
