We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
