I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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