TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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