Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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