So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
