We won't sleep together?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
