i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
