u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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