Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Your cock deserves a montage
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize