You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
