We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
