id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
