I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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