Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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