2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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