If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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