you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize