What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
