My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
