I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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