I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
