hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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