I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
