so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
