I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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