She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
