she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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