Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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