You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
