Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
