Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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