Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
