you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
