party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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