we have pet lesbian snakes
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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