Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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