Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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