I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
