i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
