TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
