I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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