I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
