dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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