So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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