just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
