just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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