do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
