ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
