you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
