JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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