I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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