sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
