How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
