he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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