Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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