I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
