Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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